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A Little Bit Wiser...

Hello, hello, hello my lovely friends! What a joy to be reaching out to you again. It has been quite a while! I was having a lovely and interesting adventure over the past year and a half - and now I'm on to new adventures.


Some of you may have seen the most recent blog post that I published, which was actually a very old post. Sorry about that! I was moving it out of the 'drafts' section and it just published itself and sent out to everybody. So, apologies for that and you can disregard.


It was speaking about my marriage and that is actually no longer my situation. It was a very important and special relationship for me, but, ultimately, it was not meant to go the distance. Despite my putting everything into it and giving up a lot to explore that option and see how it might work, it ran its course.


I am in total gratitude for all that I shared with my husband and all that I learned. We will forever be friends and he will hold a very special place in my heart forever, but we knew it was right for us to go our separate ways, as we ended up wanting very different things out of life. We thought we were more in alignment than we were, and this is something you only learn after being with somebody for quite a while.


We got married very early on in our relationship and I feel like that was a good thing because it gave me a strong container to explore that experience. If I hadn't had that strong commitment, I may not have taken it as far as I did, for various reasons that I won't get into, but it was a good thing and a very special part of my life. I absolutely trust that it all went exactly as it was supposed to and was the perfect container I needed to support my personal evolution - some growth we absolutely cannot do on our own - we need a partner to trigger us into that next level of growth. We need the mirror of the other to see what we cannot see on our own. I consider this a very sacred union that we shared and I am forever grateful for it.


So I got to explore monogamy a bit and see how that worked out for me. I don't know that my energy necessarily works that way, as I have always really enjoyed experiencing a variety of partners and that is still the case. I have always been rather adventurous, though, and am up for trying new things, so marriage and monogamy was something I was willing to explore to see what might transpire. There were certainly some beautiful aspects to all of it. I guess I'm just open to exploring a variety of options as they arise and as they feel right to explore.


We too often box ourselves into what society has told us we need to do and what is the correct way to be. I certainly had to explore some of that for myself when getting married. Along with marriage comes this assumption that it will be a monogamous situation, which, initially, for me that wasn't part of the agreement, but it ended up becoming that. For better or for worse.


Again, I think it's important for us to explore different options and see what works for us. Part of the issue with marriage is that so many of us get into it when we're quite young before we've had a chance to explore and, because it does come with the agreement of monogamy, we don't even know if that's exactly what works best for us. And we don't have a lot of other options that are really supported in our society.


I will admit that it was challenging to give up what I had been doing prior to my marriage commitment, with being able to share my sensual energy with a number of different partners. My energy has always just worked that way and I've always loved experiencing new partners and the excitement and fun of that. The beauty of sharing a new experience with somebody and showing them something they may not have experienced before - which is the feedback I got from many of my partners, "I've never felt like this before" or "I didn't know I could feel like that." That was very special for me to be able to give that experience to people and vice versa. I got to have a lot of lovely experiences myself.


So I wasn't really looking forward to giving that up, but I did come to that on my own to see, again, if maybe monogamy would be fulfilling in a whole new way. I do believe the potential is there, but it takes two very emotionally mature people and a lot of effort and a lot of work for it to not go stale and, unfortunately, the majority of people are not that skilled at having the conversations that we need to have and supporting our partners through the ups and downs and ins and outs of our sexual expression, how it morphs and changes all the time. Our society is not one of sexual maturity and healthy sexual expressions. There is great dysfunction, confusion, repression, lack of communication, distortion, and serious hang-ups regarding our sexuality.


We can take things very personally and we can get very codependent on our partner to be showing up in a certain way and performing a certain way and taking care of us in a certain way. When we don't get our needs met, we think something is wrong and we shut down rather than communicate and ask questions and learn about the other person - or explore our own triggers and reactivity to it all. Yikes. This is such a huge subject that I'm not going to get into too much more right now, but perhaps we'll continue to explore this more later. I do so love getting into all of our sexual challenges and hang ups!


I just know that I'm very excited to be back here and connecting with you all. I'm not sure exactly how all of this is going to work, as I no longer live in Portland and part of my new adventure is living on the road full time in my converted shuttle bus. My life has never been one of convention and this is just the latest way that I am going against the norm and creating my own adventure! So I am traveling all over and not sure how that's going to work for connecting with people, but I'm sure I will figure it out. Where there's a will, there's a way!


I will be back in Portland in the summertime, as the south gets a little warm and I absolutely adore the Pacific Northwest, so am excited to be back for a bit. I'm currently at the Grand Canyon and I'm having an amazing time here. About to head to Albuquerque to see a concert - after I go through the Petrified Wood National Forest first! Because that looks super amazing and beautiful. Then probably to Roswell, because - why not?! It's right there! Then I have a family event in Texas, so will head down that direction, which will be rather hot by the time I get there - which makes a little shuttle bus exceptionally hot! Not good! And that is why I will need to be heading back up north where it will be cooler.


I will say that I am fully available to travel, if you're interested in flying me to you. That's always a fun option that you can explore on my website offerings. I am also super excited to be available to travel with you, if you need a companion to go do any sort of adventuring. Count me in! I've always loved those types of adventures with those of you who have partaken in this option. We've had so much fun! Lifelong memories have been created and I can't wait to create more!


If you're going to be anywhere in my area, let me know and let's figure something out. It will be an adventure! I will keep my website updated regularly with where I'm going to be.


I'm still offering my energy healing sessions and 12-Week program that is completely transformational, life-changing, and super empowering - these offerings are done at a distance anyway, so my location doesn't matter. You can receive from anywhere on the planet! These are not sensual in nature - they are more about life coaching and clearing low sense of self-worth, self-esteem issues, dis-ease in the body, sexual health challenges, stress, tension, anxiety, disconnection from passion and purpose and creativity, lethargic, low energy, stuck in a rut. These offerings help clear all of that out and get you back on track, healthier, connected to life, inspired and rejuvenated. I have excellent reviews from the men who have gone through the program and who have benefited from the energy healing sessions. I will get those posted shortly for you.


So that is just a little update from me. I'm really excited to be connecting with you all again. I've been really getting in touch with my sensuality again after the dissolution of my marriage. I'm really exploring what my sensual energy looks like for me now and I've been out dancing naked in the forest and just reconnecting with myself in a really powerful and wild way. It has been a gorgeous exploration and unfolding and rebirthing really. My reconnecting with you all is part of that process for me. I look forward to sharing my passions and exploring with you all, when the time is right and we are in the same area.


Thank you so much for following my posts and for being here. I would love to hear from you and know how you are doing. It's been so long! What have you been up to and what is new in your world? What has changed since all of this craziness has gone down in our world? We're in such a time of transformation right now.


Another reason why it's an excellent time to get energy healing and enroll in my program. So much to clear out! So many heavy energies, limiting belief systems and unhealthy conditioning. It's time to break free! We're really supported right now to be doing this work and to be stepping into a new way of our consciousness and our humanity. I am totally here for you when you're ready for exploring some of that - when you're ready for a super sexy and sensual life coach! You know where to find me.


I'm sending much love to you on your journey and looking forward to connecting!


Xoxo ~ Star




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